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10 Ways To Raise A Child With High Emotional Intelligence.
you like to have a child who can deal with his positive and
negative emotions in a healthy and constructive manner, who has
good social skills and is an understanding and empathic
listener? Then you need to raise a child with a high EQ or
Emotional Intelligence, more commonly known as EQ, is the
awareness and ability to manage one's emotions in a healthy and
For many parents, figuring out how to deal appropriately with
our children's feelings is difficult. When we are faced with an
angry toddler, a frightened child or a screaming infant, few of
us know what to do.
To complicate matters, some of us grew up in families where
feelings were suppressed and open, honest dialogue was
So how can you then teach your children to become emotionally
literate? Here are 10 strategies to help you to do just that.
1. Respect your child's feelings. You need to realize that all
your child's feelings are important, regardless of how difficult
they are to deal with.
2. Label your child's feelings. Look for opportunities to teach
your child the appropriate names for the feelings that he is
3. Share your own feelings with your children. Be careful not to
use your children as confidantes for difficult and conflicting
emotions that you are experiencing, but at the same time let
them see that you are human and have feelings too.
"I feel really sad that Aunt Suzie passed away. I miss her
very much and that's why I'm crying."
4. Become a role model for trying to deal with feelings in an
appropriate way. If you rant and rave when you are angry then
your children will learn to do the same when they are angry.
5. Acknowledge your child's feelings. Stay in close proximity to
your child as he shares his feelings and offer to touch or hold
him if appropriate.
6. Listen to your child's feelings and reflect them back to him.
"You sound really sad. Do you want to talk about it?" or "You
seem delighted with your new kitten."
7. Allow your child time to work through his feelings. Resist
the temptation to rush in and fix whatever is ailing your child.
This helps to build emotional resilience and your child will
soon realize that negative emotions do fade and that he or she
will feel better.
8. Always prioritize safety and set limits if necessary.
Children need to be kept safe even in the midst of an emotional
meltdown. You may need to firmly restrain your toddler who is
throwing a tantrum or perhaps even move him to a safer
9. All feelings are okay, but all behaviors are not. Children
will often express strong negative emotions through
inappropriate behavior, for example biting the new baby or
breaking things when angry. This is when you need to step in and
intervene. Stop the inappropriate behavior and suggest a more
suitable outlet. "If you're really angry and want to throw
something, you can throw these socks at the wall."
10. Get the help and support you need to deal with your own
feelings in an appropriate way. In order for you to be a good
role model for your child, you need to be able to express your
own feelings in an appropriate way. This could be through
writing in a journal, through talking to a friend or even a
professional counselor....whatever works for you.
Emotional Intelligence is an important part of your child's
development and the time and effort you spend helping your child
to raise his EQ will pay off. Your child will be happier and
more prepared to face the challenges that life will bring.